Some men are natural romantics and others couldn’t get lucky at a kissing booth raising money for charity. Maybe being a romantic is a skill and maybe it isn’t. Either way, it can be learned.
First, learn about the restaurants in your area. Right now I can tell you which restaurants have private tables, which deliver flowers upon your arrival, and which you should avoid. Inherent in being a romantic is the characteristic of forethought. You thought about the restaurant, you bought the card, and you surprised her with a gift she wasn’t expecting.
I'm sure this has happened to you.
HUSBAND: Where do you want to eat?
WIFE: It doesn't matter.
You pick a place and she says she doesn't like it.
Here's the translation. She wants you to pick a restaurant based on her taste. This shows her you know her and that you care about what she likes.
Second, mark important days in a calendar. Even if you don’t have a schedule for anything else, you must mark things to remember for your wife. If you’re stopping at Walgreens on February 14 to buy a bear holding a heart, and you’re not a ten-year-old, don’t bother going home.
Third, learn your wife’s gift needs. Sometimes men approach the gift question based on what they want to do. So ask yourself, “what does my wife enjoy.” Unless she has a curio cabinet with missing pieces to her fairy collection, you need to really listen to her when she says she likes something. Make a mental note and return to buy it. Also, talk to her about flowers and gifts. She may rather have an evening without the kids than a dozen roses that won’t last a week.
Finally, listen to her. Most all women like to talk and all women love being understood. If talking isn’t your favorite thing to do, make it your goal that evening to really listen to her. It’s your task. Men are really good at doing one thing at a time. This is our strength. Use it. Ask questions if you don’t understand and repeat what she said back to her to show her you are listening.
In short, meet her needs and she’ll more than meet yours.
Dale Sadler is a marriage counselor in White House, TN. Call him at 513.3642 to make an appointment. He accepts Blue Cross Blue Shield and Magellan.
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