In 1982, I was in a theater watching Steven Spielberg’s masterpiece, E.T. If you’ll remember, E.T. and Elliot were joined through some sort of cosmic bond. Both E.T. and Elliot felt what the other did. At one point, Elliot actually says, “we’re fine,” alluding to himself and the alien. Elliot even gets physically ill after E.T. is found sick and in a creek bed. Marriage is the same. A spouse’s happiness, state of mind, and even emotional health is dependent on the other.
Maybe you have heard some of these aphorisms: “Marriage is a reciprocal relationship where one gives and the other takes and the other gives while the first takes. Marriage is 50/50. Marriage is not always 50/50. Sometimes you have to give more than you receive.” There is truth to all of these, but there is a pattern that begins and ends with men. Make your wife happy, she’ll make you happy, and you will lack nothing in your relationship.
Men mess up a lot. We are impulsive and loud. We in particular mess up when we only think about what we want which leaves our wives unhappy. We don’t look to pleasing our wives because we think we’re being pushovers or weak. Plus, we want what we want.
What's interesting is that if this loud, impulsive, self-serving energy can be put in the right direction, we'll be supermen or at least super-husbands. Want a happy marriage? Here’s the secret. You must forget about your needs and focus on your wife’s. Trust me. When you do this, your needs will be met. A real leader doesn't think of himself, but rather those he is leading. You want to be a leader in your home don't you? Men also want to be taken care of at home, and they want to be admired. Your wife wants to do both of these things. She really does, but you must give her something to love so she’ll be motivated to take care of you and admire you.
What's interesting is that if this loud, impulsive, self-serving energy can be put in the right direction, we'll be supermen or at least super-husbands. Want a happy marriage? Here’s the secret. You must forget about your needs and focus on your wife’s. Trust me. When you do this, your needs will be met. A real leader doesn't think of himself, but rather those he is leading. You want to be a leader in your home don't you? Men also want to be taken care of at home, and they want to be admired. Your wife wants to do both of these things. She really does, but you must give her something to love so she’ll be motivated to take care of you and admire you.
Well, what does she need? All women want to be heard (understood) and they want to be loved.
Do you know why your wife is upset? Do you know what she means when she says certain things? Women can be difficult to understand but that’s because they are so different from men. This does not mean they are impossible to understand. Listen to her and determine what she is trying to tell you. Sometimes it does seem like she’s speaking in code, but listen to what she is saying. Communication is a huge need in women. Even if you did the dumbest thing known to man, she will be much quicker to forgive if you show her you understand why she is mad.
Marriage is a functioning machine where two people work to make it happen. Typically, responsibilities are broken up somewhat evenly between the husband and the wife. The wife depends on the husband to do his share, but here’s where a bit of difference occurs. The woman depends on you to make her feel loved within her home. How do you do this? You pursue her regularly. She desperately wants this and you desperately want to do it, but maybe you’ve forgotten. Love and understand her and she’ll make sure you are happy.
What happens when you have a happy wife? That wife wants to please her husband. BINGO! Forget about your needs, take care of your wife’s, and she will more than take care of yours.
