In my school setting, I see a lot of single moms struggling with their boys who, at the middle school level, are raging into puberty. These moms’ desperately need guidance because raising a boy is decidedly different than being a woman. Also, drawing from one's childhood as a girl will not help.
The author's credentials are certainly different from most books on parenting which typically come from doctors, counselors, or other professionals in the mental health field. Rick is a small business owner and a veteran of the United States Navy. This anomaly in the parenting book genre is not a liability because he is obviously passionate about his current business, Better Dads, a fathering skills program. Having read a lot of books on boys and parenting, I didn't find this one terribly insightful, although it was enjoyable. Rick admits to not being a counselor and being a counselor myself, I really look for that. However, his information is solid and practical.
The book is short and Johnson keeps it simple by laying out for the reader exactly what makes boys tick. There is no deep analysis that might bog you down. Just simple facts & thoughts that make you say, "I never thought of that" and "my son lighting fires makes sense now." This knowledge will do wonders for your sanity and your relationship with your son.
What I liked most about the book was that it was not politically correct. Political correctness is one of the biggest enemies of boys becoming men. Our society's desire to help women gain the rights that I believe they deserve has caused us to go too far in the other direction, negatively impacting what makes boys, boys. Johnson addresses this and admits to speaking in generalities, but does not apologize. He writes from his Christian belief system, which I share.
A boy's desire to be adventurous and wrestle in the back yard is demonized by well intentioned mothers and ill-informed dads because they don't want their sons to get hurt. You shouldn’t just let the boys duke it out, but you shouldn’t make them feel bad for being rambunctious either. Johnson contends that a mother's desire to protect her son can actually impede his growth into manhood. Nurturing is her natural tendency but it is not her son's natural growth pattern.
That's My Son will help mother's see how their God-given role can do great things, but also how they hurt their son's emotional growth. A family member of mine was in the E.R. at a local hospital. While there, a boy who appeared to be about seven years of age came in. He had a bad gash above his eye. His friend had accidentally hit him with a bat. I told the man that was with him, "There's dignity in that." He agreed. If he can overcome the cuts and bruises of today, he'll be better equipped for the bigger ones tomorrow that are physical, mental, and emotional. If he's overly protected, he'll only be a shell of a man who will not be able to affectively care for his family.
One area that many may take issue with is Johnson's stance on how boys can only learn how to be a man from other men. There's no doubt that women can raise good men. However, without at least a little influence from other males, your son will be missing something. Maybe he'll find it on his own, but if you, as a mother, can put your son into contact with male coaches, teachers, or Scout leaders, it will do wonders for him. Johnson is not alone in this as he quotes other authors on this topic. I'll throw my vote in as well.
So, if you're new to raising a boy and haven't read any parenting books about boys, mom or dad, this is a great place to start because as Johnson quotes, "It's easier to raise a boy than it is to fix a man."
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