"You should get me some ice cream."
"My son should listen to me."
"You should do a better job at being a father."
This six letter word carries with it a strong desire and may even reveal an actual need. However, it does little to motivate. If you are telling someone they should [blank], expect them to become defensive because this word communicates the thought that they are doing less than what you think they should be doing. That there's something wrong with them. It is however a good starting point if both parties are in agreement that something should change. If this is not the case, don't criticize the person, but rather do what you can to solve the issue yourself. Certainly, your children should listen to you, but you're the parent. They should listen because you have taught them to do so. Maybe your spouse could be a better parent, but are you doing all that you can to encourage them? Are you a good example of a good parent?
On the other hand, some things cannot change. Take note and see what fits into this category. If you can change it, go for it, but if not, spend your time on something else more constructive.