I heard about the latest thing in anger management today. It’s called Sarah’s Smash Shack (www.smashshack.com), and it’s in San Diego, CA. Sarah Lavely came up with the idea after her divorce. When her husband left her, she dealt with the pain and frustration by every day going out and smashing something of his on her asphalt driveway. She says that this really helped her deal with the anger, so when she moved back to her native California, she opened the Smash Shack. For $35 you can get 10 plates to throw at a wall in a safe environment screaming out all your rage at your boss, your ex, or anything else you might be mad about.
The idea is that if you’re mad at someone, you can write their names on the plate and smash it. Some believe this helps you deal with your anger in a way that is constructive. Well, it can be constructive I suppose. It’s really cool to break things. Ever thrown fluorescent bulbs into a dumpster? They make a great exploding sound.
This idea of releasing your anger really took off in the 60s & 70s. Remember the opening credits of the Jeffersons? It shows the cast hitting one another with foam bats. This was once a big intervention in marriage and family therapy. When your family would go in for counseling, the therapist would give each member a foam bat to beat on each other. The thing is, once you were done, the issue that forced you in to counseling was still not resolved.
I have no doubt that Sarah’s Smash Shack has some therapeutic value, but I believe it’s more about the fun adrenaline rush and less about the fact that you’re thinking about the person you’re angry with as you smash $12 worth of wine glasses.
Psychology professor Jeffrey Lohr of the University of Arkansas says, "You have the sense of immediate improvement, but it's only a sense." He contends that feeding the anger only makes it worse.
Here’s the thing with the Smash Shack. If you’re angry with your boss, he’ll be there tomorrow and you’ll be out $35; more if you buy a t-shirt and shot glass. If you’re mad at your self because you’re fat, you’ll still be fat after you’ve had a good rampage. If you’re mad at your spouse, stop neglecting the issue and talk it out. The Smash Shack only dwindles your bank account giving you something else to fight about.
So, what can help you control your anger? Exercise. This gets the good hormones going so you don’t explode with the bad. Also, remember to breathe. When you’re angry, your breathing gets shallow which starves your brain of oxygen which causes you to not think clearly. Also, a realistic view of what is actually happening in a situation can be really helpful. Is it worth yelling at the waiter when your steak is overcooked?
Lohr says that tons of research on cathartic anger — the theory that actively expressing your anger can relieve the feeling — has produced a definitive conclusion.
"Punching pillows and breaking dishes doesn't reduce subsequent anger expression," he says. "That, the research shows clearly." So, if screaming at your kids made you feel better, sorry.
This does not mean you should repress your anger. If you’re mad at someone, tell them, but do so in a way that works toward a resolution, not one that makes things worse. When your wife or husband angers you and you “give it right back” does that actually resolve anything? Not usually. It might make you “feel better” but I don’t see how prolonging a negative feeling is good for anyone. Work it out, don’t work each other over. (SOURCE: www.npr.org, Alix Spiegel)
The idea is that if you’re mad at someone, you can write their names on the plate and smash it. Some believe this helps you deal with your anger in a way that is constructive. Well, it can be constructive I suppose. It’s really cool to break things. Ever thrown fluorescent bulbs into a dumpster? They make a great exploding sound.
This idea of releasing your anger really took off in the 60s & 70s. Remember the opening credits of the Jeffersons? It shows the cast hitting one another with foam bats. This was once a big intervention in marriage and family therapy. When your family would go in for counseling, the therapist would give each member a foam bat to beat on each other. The thing is, once you were done, the issue that forced you in to counseling was still not resolved.
I have no doubt that Sarah’s Smash Shack has some therapeutic value, but I believe it’s more about the fun adrenaline rush and less about the fact that you’re thinking about the person you’re angry with as you smash $12 worth of wine glasses.
Psychology professor Jeffrey Lohr of the University of Arkansas says, "You have the sense of immediate improvement, but it's only a sense." He contends that feeding the anger only makes it worse.
Here’s the thing with the Smash Shack. If you’re angry with your boss, he’ll be there tomorrow and you’ll be out $35; more if you buy a t-shirt and shot glass. If you’re mad at your self because you’re fat, you’ll still be fat after you’ve had a good rampage. If you’re mad at your spouse, stop neglecting the issue and talk it out. The Smash Shack only dwindles your bank account giving you something else to fight about.
So, what can help you control your anger? Exercise. This gets the good hormones going so you don’t explode with the bad. Also, remember to breathe. When you’re angry, your breathing gets shallow which starves your brain of oxygen which causes you to not think clearly. Also, a realistic view of what is actually happening in a situation can be really helpful. Is it worth yelling at the waiter when your steak is overcooked?
Lohr says that tons of research on cathartic anger — the theory that actively expressing your anger can relieve the feeling — has produced a definitive conclusion.
"Punching pillows and breaking dishes doesn't reduce subsequent anger expression," he says. "That, the research shows clearly." So, if screaming at your kids made you feel better, sorry.
This does not mean you should repress your anger. If you’re mad at someone, tell them, but do so in a way that works toward a resolution, not one that makes things worse. When your wife or husband angers you and you “give it right back” does that actually resolve anything? Not usually. It might make you “feel better” but I don’t see how prolonging a negative feeling is good for anyone. Work it out, don’t work each other over. (SOURCE: www.npr.org, Alix Spiegel)
