James Lehman, in his Total Transformation program (DISC 2), says that parents have an ideal child in mind before they ever start parenting. They want a child who listens and is respectful, but sometimes they get a child who has other ideas. James Dobson writes about these strong willed children in his book, The New Strong Willed Child. I recommend this as well if you are struggling to understand your child. In any case, all children, especially those who challenge authority, require a firm and consistent parent who will help him or her learn to manage his behavior on his own. This should be the goal of every parent.
Children react to what parents do and sometimes parents do ineffective things. Lehman, in disc 2, describes the ineffectiveness of "Over Negotiating." You tell Tommy that it’s time to go to bed. Well, he doesn’t want to go to bed. He wants to watch television. This begins a negotiation pattern between parent and child in an effort to decide when bedtime will occur. Shouldn’t the parent make this decision? A parent, who over negotiates on matters like this, teaches her child that, “I don’t mean what I say the first time. I need your input to make a decision.” This is a dangerous scenario.
Ever wonder why your child won’t listen to you the first time? It may be because you have created a negotiation framework between you and your child. Please keep in mind though that the key word is “over.” Certainly, negotiating about a restaurant or what shirt to wear is a different matter. Unless the parent sees a reason to go one way or the other, asking for your child’s input is a good practice in certain situations. It communicates love by showing them you value their opinion. When over negotiating occurs, the parent is giving the child too much power in important areas. So, instead of the parent making a decision in the best interest of the child, the child gets his way a lot more than he should.
When you say something, you must mean it, and expect your child to follow through. Anything less, drastically throws off the balance of power and the child gains a foothold in areas that should be left exclusively to parental decision making. As these children become teenagers, the topics carry more weight and the teen more aggressively exercises the decision making power he has had for years. This leads to heated family arguments and the teen engaging in dangerous behavior by making his own decisions. He's always helped his parent make decisions. Why should he stop now? This is a very common issue in families and disc 2 does an excellent job of sorting it out.
Call 1-866-798-5608 or visit The Total Transformation for a FREE OFFER where you can receive your money back on the purchase price of the Total Transformation.
Click here to read my other Total Transformation reviews.
Dale Sadler is an affiliate of Legacy Publishing Company.
When you say something, you must mean it, and expect your child to follow through. Anything less, drastically throws off the balance of power and the child gains a foothold in areas that should be left exclusively to parental decision making. As these children become teenagers, the topics carry more weight and the teen more aggressively exercises the decision making power he has had for years. This leads to heated family arguments and the teen engaging in dangerous behavior by making his own decisions. He's always helped his parent make decisions. Why should he stop now? This is a very common issue in families and disc 2 does an excellent job of sorting it out.
Call 1-866-798-5608 or visit The Total Transformation for a FREE OFFER where you can receive your money back on the purchase price of the Total Transformation.
Click here to read my other Total Transformation reviews.
Dale Sadler is an affiliate of Legacy Publishing Company.
